Archive for December, 2008

Eagles D End Trent Cole Might Be Part Frog

December 8, 2008

Trent Cole came up with a huge special teams play yesterday when he was able to leap over the Giants line of scrimmage and block a 47 yard field goal attempt by John Carney.   The play was a remarkable display of athleticism and there have been several theories presented as to how Cole, a human being, was able to do this:

1. Trent Cole is Frog Suit Mario.

Photo taken as Cole leaps over Jay Alford

Photo taken as Cole leaped over Jay Alford

 2. The Eagles paid former Nittany Lion Lavar Arrington $50 to wear Trent Cole’s uniform for that particular play because he’s excellent at leaping over lineman and being constantly injured. 

3. Jay Alford and Trent Cole are working on a vaudeville routine together under the working title “Jay’s Out Cole.”  

Video evidence:

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Two lucky 76ers get early invites to All-Star Weekend

December 2, 2008

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Phoenix in February.  For two lucky 76ers, that is exactly what is in store.  In a surprising announcement, Ed Stefanski announced today that the NBA front-office has extended invitations to both Andre Iguodala and Samuel Dalembert for All-Star Weekend even though the season is only less than a quarter through.  When reached for comment, Tim Frank, spokesman for the NBA, said “We have seen enough thus far to make this decision.  Anyway, who cares? Nobody is paying attention to the NBA until the summer of 2010 anyway.  We’re just trying to shake it up. ” Andre Iguodala has been asked to compete in the 3-point shooting contest, while Samuel Dalembert will take part in the skills competition.

Sixers’ Cheeks Still Milking National Anthem Goodwill From 2003

December 1, 2008

With the off season acquisition of Elton Brand, expectations for the Sixers 2008 season were high but with a 7-10 record, things haven’t gone as planned. 

Surprisingly Sixers head coach Mo Cheeks hasn’t come under much scrutiny. 

Cheeks had this to say, “We’re not where we want to be right now but with the Phillies’ championship and the Eagles kind of imploding, it’s really taken a lot of heat and attention away from us.  I bet Andy Reid won’t run much against the Giants, boy doesn’t he like to throw the ball? Also, do you remember when I helped that little girl who forgot the words to the Star Spangled Banner on April 25, 2003?  That was really, really cool of me.” 

Cheeks then said that all the Sixers need is another 4 months to “gel”.  He also blamed the Sixers’ inability to hit threes on the season ending injury to center Jason Smith.