Archive for April, 2009

Draft Fever: The Millionth Mock Draft

April 25, 2009

After many weeks of research, studying tape, reviewing wing span and shuttle run times, capped off by a trip to the combine in Indy, I bring you my 3rd annual, definitive mock draft.  I fucking love the draft, plain and simple. However, I am almost constantly disappointed by our beloved Eagles. I wish i could tell you it’s going to be different this year, but i am sure it won’t be.

If you’re asking yourself, who doesn’t get excited about trading out of the first round………… It’s fucking agonizing.  Anyway, here you go:

If Stafford sucks, he could always go into Strongest Man competitions

If Stafford sucks, he could always go into Strongest Man competitions

1. Detroit Lions- Matthew Stafford, QB- Georgia

2. St Louis Rams- Jason Smith, LT – Baylor

3. KC Chiefs – Aaron Curry, LB – Wake Forest

4. Seattle Seahawks – Eugene Monroe, LT – Virginia

5. Cleveland Browns (adios Braylon Edwards) – Michael Crabtree, WR – Texas Tech

6. Cincinnati Bengals – BJ Raji, DT – Boston College

7. Oakland Raiders – Jeremy Maclin, WR – Missouri

8. Jacksonville Jaguars (I’m guessing they will trade out) – Mark “Dirty” Sanchez, QB – USC

9. Green Bay Packers – Brian Orapko, DE/OLB – Texas (this guy is fucking ridiculously huge, like Latimer in “The Program”)

10. SF 49ers – Aaron Maybin, DE/OLB – Another JoePa NFL bust

11. Buffalo Bills – Andre Smith, LT – Alabama

12. Denver Broncos – Tyson Jackson, DE – LSU

13. Washington Redskins – Michael Oher, LT – Ole Miss

14. New Orleans Saints – Chris Wells, RB – one of Tressel’s thugs

15. Houston Texans (I still forget they are an NFL team) – Brian Cushing, LB – USC

16. San Diego Charges – Knowshon Moreno, RB – he should be the eagles pick but they will have to move up.

17. NY Jets – Ray “the Samoan Ray Lewis” Maleuga, MLB

18. Denver Broncos – Malcolm Jenkins – The Overrated Ohio State University

19. Tampa Bay Buccaners – Josh Freeman, QB – Kansas State (will be one of the biggest busts in this draft)

20. Detroit Lions – Eben Britton, LT – Arizona

21. Eagles – Donald Brown, RB – UConn (not making me too excited)

22. Minnesota Vikings – Darius Hayward-Bay, WR – maryland (a huge bust; anyone remember Troy Williamson. this guy had 42 catches last year for the season)

23. NE Patriots – Clay Matthews, Jr, LB – USC

24. Atlanta Falcons – Robert Ayers, DE – Tennessee

25. Miami Dolphins – Everette Brown, DE/OLB – FSU

26. Baltimore Ravens – Kenny Britt, WR – Rutgers

27. Colts – Perria Jerry, DT, Ole Miss

28. Buffalo Bills – Brandon Pettigrew, TE – Oklahoma State (would like to see him in midnight green next year)

29. NY Giants – Hakeem Nicks, WR – UNC

30. Tennessee Titans – Darius Butler, CB – UConn

31. Arizona Cardinals – Ziggy Hood, DT – Missouri

32. Steelers – Alex Mack, C – Cal