Holmgren not done yet, signs MC Hammer, actual hammer, song Sledgehammer

by

Last night, Flyers’ GM Paul Holmgren pulled off a blockbuster trade to land 34-year-old All Star Chris Pronger from Anahaeim.

“I made it sort of clear myself, I wanted to get a hammer, a guy who makes life miserable for the other team. Chris is one of those guys,” Holmgren said.

But Holmgren vowed that this was just the start of strengthening his defense.  He followed through with a flurry of activity after the Pronger acquisition.

Look out Malkin!

Look out Malkin!

Feeling that they need yet another “hammer” to regulate young, talented Eastern Conference foes the Flyers also signed MC Hammer.  MC will gladly take the paycheck though he has never skated in his life.  Holmgren then announced that the Flyers had traded Danny Briere for an actual hammer and Simon Gagne for the Peter Gabriel song “Sledgehammer.”

The actual hammer will be holding a press conference tomorrow.

When asked if the hammer possessed magical powers or any level of skill, Holmgren replied, “Look, it’s a hammer, that’s what I said I wanted.  Worst case scenario, it’s faster than Hatcher.”

No word on whether the claymation version of Peter Gabriel with the sledgehammer hands or the dancing chickens were included in the deal.

The Flyers are also now actively trying to lure Scott Stevens out of retirement to play alongside the Hammer Brothers, the hammer throwing turtles from Super Mario.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: