BREAKING NEWS – MACLIN SIGNS!

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Actual photo taken minutes ago, no word if this condition is permanent

Actual photo taken minutes ago, no word if this condition is permanent

The impasse has finally ended and Jeremy Maclin will start making up for lost time at training camp tomorrow barring any catastrophe (Flight Night II?).

We’ve just read the terms of the contract and I hope you look at the computer sitting down because you are about to read the most substantial amount of dollars that any human has made for playing a sport professionally:

$15.5 million.

For.

5.

Years.

The greedy bastard won in the end.  Maclin completely devastated their salary cap.  The Eagles will most likely have to jettison the contracts of Brian Westbrook, DeSean Jackson, and Jon Dorenbos to be under.

Agents everywhere have called Jim Steiner to congratulate him on this historical negotiation.

Here’s hoping that Maclin will be able to catch a football with his gold-plated gloves and the custom helmet he is having constructed entirely of blood diamonds.

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One Response to “BREAKING NEWS – MACLIN SIGNS!”

  1. WOW Says:

    you clearly do not know what you are talking about. if you did you wuld understand that what jeremy should make is based off of a reciever who was drafted near the same time as him last year. holding out to get what he deserves in no way makes him greedy. you have to fend for yourself in this league and prepare for the worst (not making it to a second contract) not saying that he will not make it but anything is possible..

    get your facts togethor before you have the audacity to call somebody greedy and make them look like a bad person

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