Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Eagles Look to Bring Back McNabb

October 10, 2011

While there is no truth to this, Andy Reid would welcome the return of Philadelphia’s prodigal son.  For many years, Donovan deservedly, or so it appeared to many of us, took the blame for many of the Eagles offense’s insufficiencies.  I am not a McNabb apologist or even a McNabb fan. However, it has become extremely evident that the root cause of all of the offensive insufficiencies over the past 13 years can be traced back to one man. 

It’s so predictable to the national media that Philadelphians would be calling for Reid’s head today.  It seems “we” are the problem, which is extremely funny how all “we” do is support this team no matter how arrogant they are towards us.  What they fail to see is the decline in this team, regardless of what Reid’s career record is.  Per the great Jerry Glanville, the NFL stands for “Not For Long.”  13 years is far too long. 

Anyway,  I digress – the clock is now officially ticking on Andy Reid’s tenure here.  While it is widely known that in-game management – 2 minute offense, clock management, and halftime adjustments – has never been his strong point, his teams have always played hard and smart (for the most part).  Unfortunately, that is not the case this season.  In fact, the defense without Jim Johnson’s leadership has gotten worse every year.  In the past, Johnson’s defense was so good that it overcame many of the offense’s, and Reid’s, shortcomings.  This is his first 4 game losing streak since his first season in 1999.  It looks like we have come full circle.  There are many differences between this team and that one, particularly expectations .  Nobody blinked when they lost 4 in a row in 1999. This year’s version wasn’t supposed to even have 4 losses for the season, let alone in the first 5 games.  While we can all agree that it’s time for Andy to step aside, unless this run of futility continues the rest of the year, i’m not confident a change will be made.


Collapse of an Empire

October 7, 2011

The happiest guys in Philadelphia tonight. Be careful what you wish for boys.

Have you truly enjoyed the ride since 2007?

After a loss like tonight, you have 2 options – get rip-roaring drunk or reflect on what happened (the 3rd option is you do both – which is my vote).  We can all admit this to each other now, fellow Philadelphians – we weren’t too confident about tonight’s game.  The momentum had swung in Game 2, when the Cardinals came back from 4 down to humanize Cliff Lee (who, by the way, will most likely not take any of the blame for this series loss but should share in some of it) to the Philadelphia faithful. God love Cole Hamels, who did everything in his power to keep runs off the board in Game 3.  Can i take a minute to say that Cole doesn’t get enough love in this town.  Not only is he the only starter on this team with a ring, he was the fucking MVP of the only World Series the Phillies have won in the last 30+ years.  While he’s not your typical Philadelphia athlete, I’m okay that he is a big game pitcher who is completely underrated in his own town.  Roy Oswalt did everything to earn his $14 million dollar salary except hold up a 2-0 lead by letting up 5 earned runs in Game 4, which brings us to tonight. 

Roy Halladay was Awesome, plain and simple.  No way should he take a loss in a season ending game with the way he pitched tonight.  There’s a lot of blame to toss around, much of it well deserved. In the biggest game of the season, the lineup was a no show.  Why? 

The Phillies have gotten fat. Not as in overweight, but they’ve gotten content. Having won their division 5 years in a row, they appear to have lost that hunger. Every other team in the playoffs now has a stupid handshake, pose, dance, etc that is unique to them. I know its stupid but its a spark that i just don’t see on this team.  What the experience of the postseason has done to the Phillies has been to minimize their sense of urgency. They seem to believe that  they can win every game, which is a good thing. however, in the past few years they seem to run out of innings to win games.  the team has become arrogant.  Arrogance as we know can manifest itself in many ways.  The Phillies’ arrogance, unlike the Eagles, is something that can happen with true success. 

They have built a wonderful pitching staff, but that will only take you to 102 wins  and a 1st round playoff exit.  The core position players (Rollins, Utley, Howard) have all seemed to age simultaneously and not in a positive way.  They no longer are the players that we remember them being, even as recently as 2 years ago.  I don’t say this to be critical because i have enjoyed the ride.  It’s been wonderful and its reawoken Philadelphia as a baseball town.  However, this team as its currently constructed will not win a World Series.  the window has officially closed. Ruben is a smart enough baseball man to realize this as well and i have no doubt he will do everything in his power to try to fix this.  I am not envious of the position Ruben is in because it’s not just one fix that will put this team over the hump.


Stephen A. Manufactures Racism

June 11, 2010

Stephen A. continues to tarnish his legacy (?) of being an inoffensive, slightly amusing blowhard with his latest column.

Here’s a quick synopsis: The Washington Nationals’ first overall pick and uber prospect Bryce Harper, his parents, and white athletes get a free pass when they decide to bypass college to become a professional athlete. Black athletes like Lebron, Kobe, and Kevin Garnett are vilified for doing the same.

I definitely remember the time white Americans rioted when Kobe Bryant entered the draft out of high school. What a black eye/definitely racist moment in our nation’s history.


Hey Look, We Lost Another One

June 10, 2010

Well we’re back to being Philadelphia. It was fun while it lasted but we should have known better.

It ended in silence. No alarms or fanfare, Patrick Kane beat Leighton after the Flyers failed to capitalize on several scoring opportunities.

I would love to see them move Jeff Carter and hope Hartnell’s play wasn’t an aberration. Mike Richards might want to realize its the Stanley Cup Finals next time.

Ville Leino is really, really good.

I’ll leave you with this ode to the 2009-2010 Flyers:

Blackhawks’ Other Choices

June 6, 2010

The Blackhawks play a song from 2006 after they score a goal and win home games.  You’re now very familiar with it, especially when they score 25 goals like they did last night.

“Chelsea Dagger” by The Fratellis was not their first choice though.

They first used “Photograph” by Nickelback.

So after every Patrick Kane goal you would hear:

When they heard an arena of fans sing the chorus “Look at this photograph!,” they stopped using it.  This after they attempted to change the lyrics to the “hockey friendly” Look at this photo-goal!


Stephen A. Smith Is A Miserable Person

June 3, 2010

Stephen A. Smith hates Philadelphia.  No, he really does.  In a Sartre-esque twist, writing about Philadelphia sports for the Philadelphia Inquirer is the only work Stephen A. Smith can get.

Hell is being forced to write about the Sixers and Eagles.

Smith’s latest phoned in column accuses Philadelphia of hating Kobe Bryant.

Do we hate Kobe?

Of course we do.  If you didn’t notice, he’s kind of an enormous dick.

Stephen A. continues to chum the water by making statements like:

You would think with such lofty credentials there would be a statue standing somewhere, on some street corner, perhaps near City Hall, paying homage to Kobe Bryant – the greatest champion to ever come out of a place known for its associations with anything but.

OK?  Make sure to put it next to the statue of Kevin Eubanks.

More  Stephen A. Logic:

Those same folks would rather point to the fact that Bryant was raised in Italy during his formative years instead of recalling that he was born in Philadelphia. They’d rather question his street credibility because he starred in the suburbs of Lower Merion than appreciate how his game transcended the streets.

Screw Kobe and the fact that he didn’t live in the greater Philadelphia area for all of his formative years!  He cannot call himself a true Pennsylvanian!
I do question Bryant’s street credibility constantly.  I only respect basketball players who were homeless and literally raised by an inner city street.   And can you believe he’s never been shot with a gun?  Some kind of basketballer he is!
So we boo Kobe Bryant, who cares?  Sorry we can’t all be such stalwarts of appreciation and sportsmanship, Stephen.
We don’t like losing championships.  Especially to dicks like Kobe.
We also like our hearts and would rather not have them cut out.

Phillies Watch Gran Tarino, Are Terrible

June 3, 2010

The Phillies are in the middle of a horrendous tailspin and don’t seem very concerned about it.

Hours before yesterday’s loss to Atlanta, Charlie Manuel found his team watching Gran Torino.

“What the hell?” Manuel said. “We should be getting ready for the damn game.”

Manuel then added, “Let’s at least watch Unforgiven or something.  If I wanted a morality tale, I’d go to church. I bet they loved Crash too, especially Dobbs.  He seems stupid.”

Stephen A. Smith Yell-Writes Again

March 25, 2010

I opened the internet papers (or I-papes) this morning to see if there were any updates on the rumored McNabb trade and found the latest Stephen A. diatribe.   If you don’t want to damage your eyes/ears by reading it, Stephen thinks the Eagles treatment of McNabb has been “disgraceful.”

Smith says, “It’s fine that the Eagles are contemplating moving on. But McNabb’s failures are connected at the hip with Reid’s. They were supposed to be in this together. But the way the Eagles have conducted this process lacks so much sensitivity, it’s offensive to hear Reid say, “We’re evaluating things,” as if Reid shouldn’t evaluate himself.

Of course Reid should evaluate himself and his well documented deficiencies but after receiving a contract extension, Reid ain’t going to fire himself.  Per Smith, Reid and McNabb should The Hours-style Virginia Woolf themselves together (translation: put large rocks in their pockets and sink into a river, preferably while not knowing how much time is left in a game).

The irony of the situation is the Eagles may have shot themselves in the foot by overvaluing all their quarterbacks, including McNabb.

But not according to Smith:

Instead, they are considering throwing McNabb and his 32,873 career passing yards out like trash.

Word has it Reid is  going to throw over 30,000 yards of twine into a garbage can to symbolize McNabb’s failure. 

McNabb has not been perfect, to be sure. Too many throws have been too low, too high or too hard. He hasn’t always come through under pressure. But there’s something to be said for getting the Eagles in position, for keeping them relevant, for being class personified along the way.

So Smith admits McNabb’s flaws but demands the Eagles not trade him because he’s won several “relevant” and “classy guy” awards for the organization.  McNabb by all accounts seems like a decent human and there’s no grave dancing here if he’s traded but he’s had over ten years to accomplish something he didn’t.

It’s unconscionable, classless, weak – and too ridiculous for McNabb to deal with any longer.

It is indeed unconscionable to trade a quarterback in the NFL, it’s literally never happened before.   McNabb should be quarterback for life.  His good guy-ness should allow him to start until he chooses to retire or dies, Supreme Court style.

More Like Dumb-phy

March 19, 2010

Temple coach Fran Dunphy added yet another Tournament loss to his less than stellar post-season record with a 13 point loss to Cornell.

The Big Five has become a Small One.  Yea that was horrible.

Here’s a synopgifs:

gif maker
Gif maker


March 19, 2010

Nova’s less than spectacular first round performance led many people to question Jay Wright’s decision to discipline Scottie Reynolds and Corey Fisher for unspecified infractions (our guess: murder).

Wright narrowly escaped morphing into Lappas when Nova was bailed out by the performance of  Mouphtaou Yarou and  Reynolds getting fouled a lot.

Here’s a gif synopsis, a synopgifs:

gif maker
Gif maker